Always a project...Knox's Room Update

I just can't ever sit still with house projects. Once I complete one, I have the urge to start something new, and much to Shawn's chagrin, that usually involves paint. :)

This project, however, my husband has actually volunteered himself for- so in order to keep my worker happy, I am doing the most planning ahead that I can.

What's the project, you ask?

Oh, just the one where we switch out the kids' bedrooms in the middle of our busiest work season.

Our house has 3 bedrooms, two of which are the EXACT same size, and located on the same side of the house- one nearer the front of the house, and one near the back. When we moved into this house, we only had 1 kiddo (Knox) and so we put him in the bedroom that was toward the back of the house, which worked perfectly- until we had another baby. 

Liv's nursery/room has inhabited the front bedroom, and there have been many times I wished I had switched their rooms. Namely, those times the doorbell rang and woke up the sleeping baby I had in the room right next to the front door. 

So, realizing that we will be welcoming another sweet girl sometime in the near future who will share a room with Liv has made me want to go ahead and do the switcheroo. So maybe you could call this nesting, in a way?

Regardless- it's time for Knox to get a little update. Here's a current view of his room:

Yeah, that's right- this is the way it USUALLY LOOKS. No prettying up real life for the internets here. 

I've made peace with the random socks and shoes on the floor, and we just aren't the people who make their beds every morning. But the books on the ground, the toys piled up on every piece of furniture, the sheer amount of toys that aren't actually played with anymore...those are the things that drive me bonkers. 

Here's what's working/what I'd like to keep for this room:

• The full size bed
• The vintage pennants and signs
• The little mid-century bookshelf (I salvaged out of the alley many years ago)
• The Ikea Poang chair and ottoman
• The dog tail hooks that are holding up the art (not pictured)
• The square storage shelves (functional, though I may want to update the fabric boxes)

Current mint wall color.

Here's what I want to see gone/improved:

• Hanging chair
• Dresser (possibly)
• Train table
• Floating Shelves
• Toys no longer played with (which is going to be a job in itself)

Another thing I am considering is that he will need to be able to "grow with" this room. He is just 6 right now, but I'm wanting to make it more of a "big boy" room he can really utilize in the coming years.

So, I'm wanting to add:

• Desk
• Upright storage or mirror over dresser
• Nightstand

Liv's room (a.k.a. Knox's future room) is currently painted a happy, light mint color- and to save myself some time, I am hoping to keep that color, while adding an accent wall. 

Check out the mood board I put together:

Knox Room Update by lissa-anglin featuring black and white home decor

I'm hoping to reuse several items we already have, plus add some must-haves for a "big boy" room, like a desk, reading light, and extra storage in an armoire. 

One of the things I am most excited about is creating an engineering print mural on one of the walls. This will be my third experience doing a mural like this- my first was in our retail store, Culture Clothing- look how tiny Knox was when I was putting it up! 

I'm having trouble deciding on whether I want to do an A) Constellation pattern or B) Mountain scene. Knox says he doesn't care and that he likes both. So, what do you guys think? Here are a couple of photos for inspo:

Source

Source

No matter what, it will be black and white print, though I do love the blue of the constellation wall- it's just much less expensive to do the black and white!

I'm also debating about curtains- hoping to keep them some sort of black and white pattern, but- how important is it that I get blackout curtains now that he is 6? Also, we will be raising those curtains allllll the way to the ceiling this time.

I also have not even thought about bedding yet- eesh! He does have a white down comforter inside the duvet he is currently using- so we will probably just stick with that. Simple. And BLEACHABLE. 

Any other input/thoughts/ideas/wish-you-hads for me? 

why we said "yes" to special needs

This post is number two in a series of posts about questions we get about our adoption. To see the first post- "Why International Adoption?" click here. 

Our family is currently in the process of adopting a special needs girl from China. I love talking with people about it- because even though we don't have her home yet, it somehow helps me process it, and get excited about it just as I would be doing with a pregnancy. (Many in the adoption community refer to the adoption process as "paper pregnancy"- which is a perfect way to describe it!)

A question we get a lot is:

“Why did you decide to adopt a child with special needs?”

Well friends, it pains me to tell you that we actually didn't.

Have you ever been cruising along, thinking that you understand just how your life should go and then all of a sudden, hard stuff happens and you realize your plan is crap and you should really just trust God- the CREATOR of the UNIVERSE- with it? No? Oh, me neither. :)

Truthfully, in the years I've been a parent, God has taught me over and over that His way is better than mine. And so one of my biggest pieces of parenting advice to new moms is to acquire the taste of your own feet. Never say never. God's plans are bigger.

Photos in this post are from a past trip to china. the children there captivated me and i loved photographing them!

You can read a little about how our adoption process started in this blog post, as well as a little bit on why we chose international adoption. Adopting a special needs child definitely wasn't our first choice, in fact – it was one of the only things I thought I could never do. God has been patient and gentle with me, however – and we are confident in the path that we're currently on.

Because I am a habitual list maker (and also love to see how God uses small things to make big changes), I've decided to list out the catalysts for this change of heart and direction in our adoption process.

1) We got educated.

One of the hardest parts of this process was realizing that I had my own misconceptions and suppositions about what a special need was, and what it was like as a parent to live with or treat. When we begin the process with the China program, our agency sent us a huge list of special needs that they commonly see. I was surprised to see that hemangioma – something that our biological daughter was actually born with– was on that list. Other small things like asthma, eczema, and missing a finger or toe were also listed. Don't get me wrong, there were many more severe needs and many of the "minor" needs were often in combination with another one or two. But, it was very interesting to realize that the Chinese definition of "special needs" is very different from ours as Americans. 

We were asked to go through the list and do some research to see what we would be "ok" with. Our agency provided us with several excellent resources that were specific to China special needs adoption. It was a hard process. We felt like in saying no to some need that we were saying no to a child- and essentially that's what was happening. However, we had to be realistic about what our family could handle and how we could best meet the needs of our child. We eventually came up with our own list – and talked through it with our social worker and agency.  We eventually decided that we were OK with anything that wasn't potentially life-threatening – things that could be treated with surgery or medicine.

We will not know what special need(s) our daughter will have until we receive a referral, review her file, do the appropriate research, and accept the referral. It is possible to just request one special need, such as cleft palate, but because we chose to list several, our agency can refer us a child with anything on that list. It is possible that after reviewing the files and seeking the appropriate medical advice, that we could choose not to accept the referral. But, I would have to say that is very unlikely.

2) We are wealthy by the world standards. 

I mentioned it in this blog post, but once Shawn and I realized that in the world's eyes, we were wealthy- and by that I mean as average-earning Americans, we make more than 99% of the rest of the world- it was hard for us to forget. Our American dollars are able to buy excellent medical care, healthy food, and a safe place to live. We don't take that lightly.

3) We have ample resources in our city.

Speaking of excellent medical care, our city has two amazing hospitals and thousands of medical professionals available when we need them. Lubbock is a hub for the medical field in this region- and knowing we would have access to specialists, clinics, and expert opinions when we needed them was reassuring. It also doesn't hurt that we have a Pharmacist brother-in-law that doesn't mind midnight text messages about children's medicine dosages. :)

4) It could've been our biological child.

This was a mindset shift for me. I mentioned earlier that our daughter Liv was born with a hemangioma on the top of her head. This was and is hardly an issue (except for a few unusual comments from strangers)- and now that she is two it has almost completely receded and is covered up by her hair. 

Liv was born in the middle of this long adoption process- and one day, it hit me- I do not have to fear- whatever special need our adopted daughter will potentially have could have just as easily been something our biological child could have been born with! Yes, the genetics are different- but if Knox or Liv would have been born with a cleft palate or limb difference, would we have said "no"? Absolutely not- how absurd would that be?!? So in many ways, that is my mindset. And, with adoption, we get the perk of knowing what is to come- preparing for her needs before she arrives.

5) It's Biblical.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

— James 1:27

Another hard truth I have wrestled with is knowing that somewhere out there is another momma who gave me her daughter so that she could have life. I am not going into this process expecting to know much about my daughter's history. Most children in China are abandoned in a "safe" public place where they will be seen and rescued quickly- such as the doorstep of an orphanage or hospital. Many are abandoned because their parents are unable to care for their needs and know that they must give up their child in hopes that they will be adopted and have access to proper care. You guys, that is heartbreaking. 

God tells us to look after these children, and it will be an honor to do so. 

One very exciting thing I learned about just today is The Love Project. This project was created by Meredith Toering, who runs the Chinese foster home Morning Star Foundation that cares for babies with complex heart defects. The proceeds from their shop go directly to families who cannot afford care for their babies. How wonderful is that? Please, check out their store and consider doing something powerful with your dollars today.

The Love Project

Click here to visit the shop!

6) Many have gone before us.

Seeing as we have been in this process a little over 4 years now, we have been exposed to a number of families adopting special needs kids. Their attitudes, perspectives and stories have really shifted my own mindset. It helps me realize that I'm not alone. There are parents who have gone before me. And that is really relieving. I know that whatever we are up against, I will have a village to refer to (whether online or in-person)- and I am so thankful for that!

7) Because God won't be surprised. 

Speaking of going before us...

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

— Deuteronomy 31:8

The Chris Tomlin song came out just as we began our adoption process and I can't tell you how many times this truth has soothed my soul. God WILL NOT be surprised, even if I am! The road we are walking is one we trust that God is leading us on. All we need to do is follow in obedience.

8) All orphans have trauma.

This is another tough truth. Our agency has supplied us with many awesome books like The Connected Child and one of the most consistent things we have learned is that no matter the circumstances- not age, location, or physical need- all orphans deal with trauma. The adoptive parent/child relationship is one born of brokenness, and because of that, there is pain to be dealt with- be it ever so subtle or severe. 

I don't mean to be pessimistic- just realistic here. Yes, I absolutely do believe that Christ's power is so much bigger than any of the trauma that exists. But it is there- and needs to be recognized and worked through for healing to happen. Having a non-"special needs" child does not mean that the trauma won't exist.

9) Every child's "normal" is different.

Selfishly, one of the concerns I had was the potential for consistent comparison between our biological kids and our adopted one. Until one day I heard an adoptive momma explain that  her daughter's "normal" was never supposed to look like her biological daughter's "normal". It was a breath of fresh air and made total sense to me. Already, in our two bio kids we can see how different they are. I could never discipline and reward them the same- it just simply wouldn't be effective! I've learned how to effectively discipline and encourage Knox and Liv in their own ways- ways in which they respond best. So of course, the same would go for our new daughter. 

And, as for any differences in physical appearance, how she gets things done, etc.- that is exactly how God created her! We will choose to celebrate that difference and appreciate the uniqueness of it. 

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We are closer than ever to receiving a referral (essentially a phone call from our agency saying we have a match)! There are some days I think I might burst from the anticipation, but others I just long for the waiting to end. In the meantime, I'm soaking up all the info I can. Check out some of my favorite bloggers who have adopted special needs girls from China:

Ashley Ann- Under The Sycamore               Shay Shull- Mix and Match Mama               Ann Voskamp

What other questions do you have regarding adoption? Feel free to comment them below!

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a friendly fiddle leaf!

So, yeah. I'm about to be that lady who devotes an entire blog post to a tree. But I'm TOO IN LOVE. I can't help myself. 

Last week, my husband who loves me tracked down a fiddle leaf fig. This is a big deal because I have been looking for one and though commonly found at a home improvement store, for some reason, Lubbock just doesn't carry them. So when he told me he found one for me, I was alllllll over it. 

I've been crushing on these trees for a couple of years now (see them all over The Jungalow, Apartment Therapy, and The Selby). They're indoor plants that somehow add interest to every corner they inhabit. 

So Peter from Xylm (follow him on @xylmshop on Insta) brought over the perfect little plant. Peter is working on opening a shop next to Culture Clothing (our resale shop) in the Tech Terrace area. He is the guy that cares for all our plants at the shop and has a knack for cacti, air plants, and trees just like this one. I can't wait to see what he does with his new store!

I was nervous about where to place it since our home has covered porches on both the north and south sides- but Peter said that was actually perfect as direct sunlight could be too much for it. Look how perfectly it fits! 

I just love that pop of green! Peter actually replanted it in that yellow-orange pot before bringing it, not having seen our home before and it fit so well.

I ran out to buy an Aqua Globe almost immediately- knowing that I did NOT want to leave it unwatered or overwatered. If you've never used an Aqua Globe before, I love them! They are blown glass bulbs that basically self-water your plant. When they are empty, just refill! I found this one at Lowe's, but I've also ordered them on Amazon. There are two sizes and they come in a few pretty colors. 

I was worried that the kids would be tempted to touch the tree (we don't have anything too precious in our home), but so far neither have and both have noticed/liked it. I have been amazed at how much a small thing like a tree would bring me a bit of happiness on a daily basis. 

Anyone else have one of these? Any tips?

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Madilyn • Frenship High Senior

Madilyn's shoot was on one of the windiest days yet this spring, and she handled it like a champ. I always say that sometimes the West Texas wind can give us some "good" drama- and I love so many of these images because Madi was willing to work with the wind rather than worry about it. :) I kept thinking I was looking at Jessica Biel while shooting- do you see it?

I loved that Madi brought along her toe shoes and even though she's finished dancing, she was able to hop right up on those toes- gorgeous! Thanks so much for a great shoot Madilyn!

Trey + Katie • Wedding at Eberley Brooks

Katie and Trey's wedding was extra special for us because Trey is my cousin and we love them so! It was a big honor to me that they would choose us as their photographers- and of course made us want to work that much harder. Shooting this wedding was a complete pleasure- it's not often that our own kids show up while we are working (thanks Mom and Dad!)- but Katie's family and friends were also so wonderful and fun. 

Lubbock decided to have 40 mph winds the day of their wedding, so I was extra thankful for the beautiful interior of Eberley Brooks Event Center. It is so perfectly set up. My mom and many helpers worked hard on all of the florals, and the bridesmaids even made their own bouquets the night before- and it all turned out so beautifully. 

Mostly, though- and this is the part I enjoy about getting to see Katie and Trey often, because it hasn't changed since their wedding day- I loved getting to see how perfectly these two go together. Katie looks at Trey just the way you would hope a bride would look at her groom. There is a peaceful hope about her that I just love, and I'm so happy to see the man that Trey has become. They both love Jesus, and I can't wait to see what God does with this new union. 

Thank you for the honor, Trey and Katie! Congratulations- we love you!

kinsey • ttu grad

Gorgeous Kinsey is graduating this May from Texas Tech and we had the best time shooting around campus. She is a girl after my own heart- an English major- so we started out at the English building, which is one of the prettiest as well. :) I had the best time shooting with Kinsey and love so many of the images! Congratulations Kinsey!

Ryan + Ashley • Engagement at Texas Tech

I loved shooting Ryan and Ashley's engagement session where it all began for them- at Texas Tech! These two live in Houston now and made a weekend of it- visiting their old stomping grounds and getting some engagement photos taken. We had a gorgeous Lubbock morning to shoot and finished their session up at the place where they first met- and most anyone who went to Tech knows- Chimy's. Thanks, y'all, for a great session and congrats!

Sancho + Amanda • Engagement

It's not often that I get to take my couples out for some Burger King during their engagement session. So when Sancho and Amanda agreed to my idea, I was pretty excited. Why? Not because I felt like a burger (though they did look SO delicious after a couple months of dieting!)- but because Burger King was the place where these two met. Well, sort of...

Sancho + Amanda had been chatting on and off for a few weeks when it so happened that his truck broke down in a Burger King parking lot. Sweetly, Amanda came to his rescue and so they laugh telling people that they first met at Burger King. Well, when it came time to propose, Sancho set Amanda up and faked another truck "break down" at the same Burger King! She had no idea, and he proposed right there. So of course, we had to have a little BK in their engagement shoot.

Other than that, these two spent most of the shoot just looking sharp. I'm excited for their wedding next fall!

dustin + cassidy engagement

I was super excited to get to shoot this engagement session with Dustin and Cassidy. I've known Cassidy for a while- and after spending some time with Dustin, it is so clear he is her perfect compliment! When I arrived at the session, Dustin had just given Cassidy an early wedding gift- a diamond necklace to wear for the session. It was so sweet and thoughtful!

We had a fabulous time with these two- and knowing Cassidy- I made sure we wouldn't be doing any "boring" on this shoot. So we started out at one of my favorite spots with a little champagne and then headed back to her studio (Cassidy owns a super-successful dance studio) where things got a little...smoky. :) 

Thank you two for going along with all my wild ideas! Congratulations!

william • newborn

Sweet little William rather felt like staying awake during his session last week- partially due to an excellent night of sleep the night before (which I'm sure his parents appreciated!). He just did not want to miss out and I am betting that he will also turn out to be quite a curious little guy as well. :) 

I loved this session for several reasons- I got to photograph William's parents's wedding a while back and it is always a blessing for me to get to witness life's most beautiful moments with my clients- it's one of the things I love best about my job! Also, his nursery is decorated so perfectly. I loved all of the colors and textures. Such a peaceful and fun "boy" space.

Welcome to the world, little William!